I will be totally frank for a moment, sorry if you don't know him. *poor attempt at a pun* I feel like I have been stuck in a deep rut for quite a few years now, it seems that perhaps my dear friend Jesse was correct. He spoke to me when he returned from his trip over... he said "Jay, you must drive to tear of the shackles of this place, it will consume you if you do not. We cannot stay here for too long for I already feel sense of loss and lost nature returning to me here." Now they are moving far to the south, it will just be so wild to see what is done with this trip... though I would have to say I am somewhat flustered that friends are already gambling on "Will he bring home a Chinese girlfriend..." and "Will he come back? Doubtful since he is actually going to be respected as a hard worker there!" I can honestly say that, though its nice to hope that someday soon I will find a wonderful woman who will love me for me, I am letting life drive on in the direction it needs to go. I have tried to control life too much before and it ended up in deeper heartache than I would EVER like to remember. I am going for my students, for my co-workers, and to go and continue to heal myself. A journey of a thousand steps must always begin with the first. Perhaps I will finally find a place to rest my head and be at peace again. Who knows?
So, I will return to create my next entry when I am safely and peacefully over in China. I promise you it will be not just an adventure for me, but one for everyone who comes with me through this Blog. I will not try to get too deep but there may be points where you just have to flat up skim sections.
It was Erwin McManus who enlightened me to a little gem such as this. "He created us not so that we could count the day's of our lives, but so that our lives could count." I hope I am taking hold of all of this gifted time that pours down upon me. To have been so close to death's door and come back, I know so truly that I am not on my own time. What is "our time" exactly? I mean here we are, the wind blows through the trees and yet we deafen ourselves to peace by covering our ears with the loud noise of a busy life and demands upon ourselves that can never be accomplished. Sadly I am getting tired and still fidgety due to knowing the amount of stress that awaits me when the sun rises again. May love always flow down upon you my brothers and sisters, know that I hold you deep in my heart and that I carry you to far off lands.